Wedding Blog, Pt. I - Dunes are different from the beach

Congrats to Derica and Patrick, looking lovely on the most important St. Patrick's Day of their lives.

In my ongoing quest to turn this blog into a series of telenovelas, I now present the first part in my four-part series on weddings and why anyone would invite me to them. Within this ongoing series, I will unfairly and unjustly compare everyone's wedding to my wedding. I know, it's not a fair fight because I had the best wedding, ever (everyone should be so biased). Also, as the convention of this blog, I will attest to the mature nature of this very important ceremony simultaneously with the immature hypothesis that we don't need all this pomp and circumstance to be with the ones we love. The adult in me loves the stability, while the kid in me just wants to eat wedding cake.

First up, the lovely daytime nuptials of Derica Shipley (not related to the footballer Shipley family) and Patrick Griffin (not related to the Griffin's from TV's "Family Guy"...because he is not animated).

Last Thursday was a very good day to get married on the coast. Yeah, you read it correctly...last Thursday, as in St. Patrick's Day...as in the first REAL day of The Tournament. Yeah, that last Thursday. Speaking of the kid in me, the spoiled brat in me was throwing a hissy fit. A personal lesson to me would be that love does not care what your schedule looks like or what holiday it collides into. Of course, this is the second time I have been scolded with this harsh reality. My younger brother was married on New Year's Eve. Of course, he got his feelings hurt when I left a shade before midnight. So, St. Patty's Day should not have set me crooked, right? Right?

See, this is what I expect on St. Patty's...and that's it! Say hi to Amber...

God bless this lovely couple, but if you were told only these four things about a wedding:
March 17th
5 PM
Corpus Christi, TX
Padre Balli Park
...what would come to mind?

In my simple, panicked mind, I am thinking, "okay, a beach wedding during spring break on one of the drunkest days of the year." What could go wrong?

My doomsday scenario was nowhere close to being realized. Balli Park is probably the best possible location to avoid drunken beach sunburned zombies as the pavilions ask for the cash deposit before anyone shows up near those buildings. All of my fears were quelled. Even the weather cooperated with my sports jacket and heavy slacks as the sea breeze was comfortable and somewhat calming.

As the wedding ceremony goes, I also expected a very heavy catholic tilt even with the neutral ceremony site in between the dunes separating the tides with Park Road 22. No dice, with the unknown association to clergy from the officiator of the wedding, the ceremony lasted, maybe, 15 minutes with very few religious overtones. The wedding procession of seven groomsmen, seven bridesmaids, the proud parents, a ring bearer and bagpipes(!!!), the walking portion of the wedding nearly eclipsed the ceremony running time (Lessons Learned sidebar: I need to have a stop watch to measure how long these ceremonies last if I am going to blog about it).

"It's easy to grin, when your ship has come in, and you've got the stock market beat..."

With all timing and sequencing analysis aside, there is one constant that remains...everyone looked beautiful. The bride was beautiful, the groom looked slick with the all-black. The green of the bridesmaids' dresses offset the groomsmen's highlighted accessories brilliantly. The sun-kissed blue sky was the ultimate backdrop as the rows of waves behind us came with five rows at three feet. The only natural element that was a bit of a bear was the cloudless glare of the sun...but that was the witnesses' problem that a pair of sunglasses could easily solve.

To the happy couple, thank you for the invite. I apologize for the mumbling as this was not what I expected. I appreciate being surprised in a good way. No disrespect, but my wedding was cooler. Literally, we had central air when we were inside. Good luck to the both of you.

Wedding Blog series disclaimer - I am going to be a jerk about your wedding because my wedding was the best. See paragraph one.

Lessons Learned, my three things.
1) If Corpus could pull off nights like last Thursday, they would have to worry about their image because the tourists would just be pouring in enjoying themselves. Quit over-thinking and just be a city by a sea.
2) If Austin was the size of Dallas, locals would probably not bitch all the time about visitors invading their city. It's SXSW. What the hell did you guys expect (see: ComiCon)? Blessing and a curse...
3) If Dallas wanted to be more like Austin, they should have asked this guy to come north. Ah, the North Texas identity crisis continues post-80's TV show. Wait, what?

Unlike the Costa Rica series, the "goin' to the chapel" series will be a bit more spread out. We double-down in June as April and May are sans ceremonies. July through September are also quiet for reporting as we finish up the ego-trip in October for the event of the season. Then and there, we will see how these bums stumble out of the blocks on day one. If trash-talking weddings are wrong, then I don't want to be right. Talk later.

Stealing Words

Being thirty-two, I am years from my college English courses. English majors learn to think and write, but in a way, unless you are creatively writing (the thought of which always completely terrified me), you're just putting your ever-growing internal vocabulary list to work in order to analyze and explicate someone else's words in some meaningful way. However, I've come to realize that even just doing that is better than not using your words at all.

So, after being urged by a friend to write, I find myself making an attempt. This is not the first time someone has suggested I do this, but it is the first time I've taken anyone up on it. It's strange how people have told me before that I would be a good writer, never even having read two words I've attempted to put together outside of a Facebook status update. The fear of proving these people wrong has kept me from this for a long time. But, I think I'm ready to get some words down on a page (or screen).

What to write about? How about words themselves? I love words. I own an extensive collection of magnetic poetry, I love to play Scrabble, and I am the owner of three books about vocabulary building. As much as I do love words, I sometimes have a hard time putting them all together on a page and shuffling them around to find that perfect mix that will completely express a thought with all the subtleties and shades that might be required. I used to collect quotations and song lyrics because I thought that there was nothing that I could say about anything that had not already been said better by someone else. I mean, we are limited by the finite number of words that exist, and I thought that it was best left to the professionals to combine them in appropriate ways. Don't get me wrong I understand that new words are coined every day. There is a continuous need to describe or explain new technologies or to find different ways to communicate complex (or not-so complex) ideas with our thumbs. But there is something magical about the most simple combination of everyday words, when their interaction manages to completely capture a single true emotion.

Simple words are often overlooked. I once had a conversation with a person who was able to appreciate my usage of the word "trite." He commented on its infrequent usage, ironically showing that it has become a word that is in itself the opposite of its own meaning. I appreciated his appreciation. Then, I smugly commented that one need not be sesquipedalian in their expressions to convey an important idea. And yes...at that point I was just showing off. I just really enjoyed the fact that we could have an entire conversation about the very words we choose to converse with.

So, back to putting words together...I think I'm ready to try it. I'm sure I will be regurgitating words already learned and known. And I will most certainly be leaning upon the crutches of my thesaurus, my extensive collection of magnetic poetry and the most intriguing work ever to be published by the London Philological Society. Yes, the words will all be stolen, but the ideas will be my very own.

March Madness can mean so many things.

Meli's kickass hat is from The House of MacGregor. Daniel's hair is from decades of bad haircuts.

With all the insanity that is going on globally, it is difficult for me to use the word "epic". First of all, it's part of a title of a Mickey Mouse video game. Right then and there, the word lost a bit of it's intensity. Secondly, I would be breaking the Louie CK rule of exaggerated vocabulary. But I have no other adjectives in the word box. I'm sorry.

Anytime you get to go to two sporting events without having to pay for a single ticket, that's pretty awesome. Granted, it was hockey, but it's a professional sports league. So, for most people, that would be their weekend. Spool it up and wait for Monday to show up. But no, I had to entertain out-of-town guests, go to a birthday party, pull a late night filled with service industry alienation, Old Milwaukee, YouTube video references, ditching The Toadies, calling an absolute stranger a d-bag for cutting in front of me in a food line (yeah, I don't know if it was the beverages or the sunburn talking at that point), the luckiest pizza delivery guy outside of a porno storyline, the best shower ever, and a home-cooked meal in which my mother would assault a small child for the recipe.

Yeah, yeah, this is a 32-year-old's epic weekend.

Part of the epic-ness was moving through a cloud that I used to navigate all the time when I was younger. You really start to appreciate stamina when you start to lose it. But then when you have 12 hours on your feet and in the heat without collapsing under your own weight, you start scrambling for those gold stars you used to earn because, damnit, you just got yourself a new one. Also, where did that tolerance come from?

Maybe I should back up...

Dallas is known for very few things because it's filled with plastic people ballooning plastic thoughts. But if there is one thing this city does right, it's the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Every Saturday before drunky's night out, this town goes greener than Al Gore's PowerPoint presentations. The scene is controlled chaos before the floats, flat-bed trucks and one poorly decorated OU alumni trailer (it's 8:47pm...). Then the parade rolls out. Living downtown and being trapped near kiddie parade central (thanks Adolphus Hotel for waking me up so early on a holiday weekend), it was a welcome change of pace where the subject matter is not overtly adult, but PG-13 enough to tolerate the Charlie-Foxtrot of traffic, people and waking up relatively early on a Saturday. Then it ended. Media juggernaut Gordon Keith stole my thought on The Musers this morning, but I will reiterate. The aftermath is the most realistic looking post-apocalyptic, zombie-plagued urban scare-scape that I have seen in a long time. And it was awesome.

For most people, just the parade would be enough to call that an epic weekend, especially after witnessing the revelry and the expiration of some people's sobriety and good graces. As a parade virgin, it was all to be expected with a couple of fun surprises in between. As I have mentioned before, it is amazing how the body responds to different stresses. And with the White Rock Marathon notwithstanding, this was about as impressed I have been with my sad sack of beyond-the-warranty bones. But when you really want to continue to stand to see what happens next, the stamina shows up in buckets.

Good job, human body. And thanks to everyone that joined along in the fun. If we do it again next year, remind me to grab a hat and get a better night's sleep.

Lessons Learned, my three things.
1) Never, ever, ever, ever buy something you really want. Three months later, another something will come by and CRUSH EVERYTHING IN IT'S PATH, INCLUDING YOU.
2) So, my older brother is now on Twitter. I wonder in how many formats, languages and social media platforms he can offend with? Now he's just showing off (@garner99...go ahead a guess what his password is.)
3) If it wasn't for The Bachelor, Dancing With The Stars and Modern Family, ABC would be my generation's version of CBS. BTW, fuck The Bachelor; can I have my wife back, now?

Pow. It's an update. Now I have to watch a lot of basketball. PS - I have a couple of new correspondents. Hope they come up with something a delicious as post-parade coverage...wait, that sounded odd. Talk later.

Yet another anniversary to mark...Year One in Dallas

The 'hood, as viewed from the Belmont Hotel patio. First one to find our building gets a prize!

Humans are weird. We react and behave completely differently than any other animal on Earth. We are so weird in our behavior that we study other species to see if any of their behaviors match our own, mostly to no avail.

No more is this chasm of differentiation more apparent then when we look at how humans associate memory with dates. No other animal (other than elephants) has the capacity and the desire to associate events with dates and mark them for memorial or trivia. March 6, 1836. June 28, 1914. December 12, 1980. Whether good or bad, we have to make a friggin' anniversary for everything.

And on some of these events, someone else will try to monetize the anniversary. Could I interest anyone in some commemorative Obama inauguration plates?

So, in my quest to seem a bit more human to everyone, I have done the same today with...today. On November 30th of last year, we landed on our version of Plymouth Rock.

There were ample reasons and discussion points as to why this was such an important event.

In reaching Dallas, this was the first Manifest Destiny move I have made since college. For good reason, no one counts college as they foray into the quote/unquote real world. That's like saying the Oklahoma land grab was done right outside of Philadelphia. No, this was the reason why you go to college...to move on up, to the [north] side.

This move was to unfamiliar territory. I had to adjust with only a generalization of the area and my penchant for hating to get lost. As an extension to Manifest Destiny, there was nothing really stopping this move other than want for something better.

Also, on a personal level, this was my Laverne and Shirley moment. No, no, not working for a beer company. But this would finally mark the end of my rehabilitation of immaturity and proceed with the adult move completely from under the parents' shadow. Granted, I needed every bit of their help. But this was the move that placed the exclamation point on "Let's blow this Popsicle stand!"

Finally, I have moved to where I can get some stuff done. I moved to where I can grow with the niche I found. And I can finally make something that my mother said a decade ago a reality.

And it all started a year ago today. Got to say, it's been a pretty good year.

The year started well, with the alma mater putting a one-point beating on the men of red from some state in the Midwest.

Then the snowpocalypse. Was I an omen for the fair city of Dallas?

Then Michael hosted New Year's. That was nice...

But toward the end, it got a little weird.

Celebrating Year Two of a super-cool union with The Lovely. I have no idea who the blonde is behind me.

Lots of sleep was lost in between, especially during the graveyard shift. Just trying to help a brother out.

Special guests visit all the time. Sabrina liked our neighborhood but the neighborhood did not appreciate all the yelling.

Then Mom showed up...and I had to behave myself (BTW, Mama is my mom. Mom is Meli's mom, just FYI).

The cool thing is that there is always something going on in Dallas, but the distractions were always around.

Dallas is like Casablanca, you know, without the Nazis.

The Metroplex is a scary place. Grande and I almost died that day (from heat exhaustion).

First year in Dallas, first year for Fantasy Football...yet another thing Michael is superior at than me.

Got a second job as a superhero. They have GREAT medical and dental.

Granted, Thanksgiving was different, but a first Dallas Thanksgiving to remember. We didn't disavow the holiday altogether!

So, Dallas, I just have one request...stay classy.

Lessons Learned, my three things.
1) I have to keep doing this. This is cathartic. This is supportive. This is necessary for me to stay sharp and poignant. Besides, my writing has been so lacking I'm misspelling layup words. Nothing more angering than that.
2) I know it's necessary for a state to collect sales tax. But if Cyber Monday is any indication of the stomach punch Texas is taking, the state may need to figure out a new method of collection other than a customary tithe.
3) It's not that The Social Network made me hate Zuckerbergnet and all he stands for, it just pissed me off that I studied the wrong subject in college.
BONUS: Listening to the Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross score for Social Network. I dare you not to write code while listening to it (Money tracks=2, 4, 5 and 11).
SUPER BONUS: Light a candle for me when you are hitting up mass, church, temple, et al. this weekend. The Rock will be fun, but not easy.

I would like to thank everyone in my life right now. As the snapshots show, it would not have been possible without everyone. Also, the next post will be nowhere near as sappy. Talk later.

The Big XII: 1996-2011

Welp, I guess we can put that next to the Southwest Conference trophies...

I have to chime in. There is so much circulating with this story and so much to say. With twelve internal moving parts and four big external moving parts...mostly dealing with football, television and levels of money that would make The Donald blush.

But hey, it's not like we weren't heading to this. The writing has been on the wall since The Big Ten Network came into fruition. Hell, with the formation of the Super Alliance and the BCS, it was going to be a money grab featuring the have's and have-not's. The current financial system could not and would not be sustainable. Once a foot goes one step down the slippery slope, the effects were bound to happen.

So, since the "expert" line, such as Jesse Palmer(?), Craig James (maybe a Tech expert - ha!) and Dan O'Malley(???) is chirping like somebody pulled its voice string, why not I add a little rolled-up newspaper on this wildfire. Here is the list of my favorite players...so far:

Hero of the story - Chip Brown, OrangeBloods.com: Who knew that a former beat reporter from the Dallas Morning News would be the hot knife through the cold stick of butter that was supposed to be a boring conference summer meeting. Yeah, notsomuch. This gentleman is crushing it. He is pouncing on the real stories, staying focused on the actual storyline and staying on top of the static. I think he just about scooped everyone. Much apologies to my beloved Austin American-Stateman writers and the know-it-all in New York, but Mr. Brown is in the muck every minute and is bugged by ESPN for fifteen minutes of his valuable time.

Goat of the story - Dan Beebe, Commissioner, Big XII: I'm not sure if he has queued the band while the ship is taking on water, but the cardboard statements aren't bailing the Big XII out. I lost all confidence as soon as I knew his name. How did I know his name? After the UT/OU/Tech tiebreak debacle. The problem with having a young conference is when a once-in-a-generation situation occurs, there is apparently no need to change the screwy rules borrowed from a broken system. If all you know how to do is shake hands with the championship game winning coach and not be a CEO for a multimillion dollar enterprise, then maybe you should go away. By the way, the ultimatum was a really, really, really bad move for a starving, cornered animal.

Harbinger of the story - Big Red: Rewind to last week, the Big XII (in an awesome leadership move reminiscent of any empty threat seen on a sitcom) told Nebraska to make a decision--stay or go. Nebraska did not take the comedic bait. Besides, we already mentioned the Big XII leadership always gets two for flinching. Okay, Nebraska says, we will start looking around if you are giving us a "deadline"...wink, wink. The North and South divisions have always had a dissonance geographically and competitively. So, why not? It was crazy enough to work when we took the Big 8 down south. Experiment failed, so let's try something else. No big deal, so, here you go Big XII, we are out and taking the state with us...wait, Colorado beat us to the exit?

Darling of the story - The University of Texas: This is the most quiet I have ever seen this sports giant. Granted, being the richest athletic department in the nation takes all volumes and all tones. But with the (presumably grinning) silence from the juggernaut in Austin, they are looking like the "awe-shucks" good guy in this cast of characters. Granted, having the biggest stick, financially, has it's advantages. But no matter the outcome, these guys are smelling like January 5, 2006...like roses. The Big XII fails, "Hey, we tried. So, we are going to make the best of a sticky situation." The Big XII is restored to 12 teams, "I'm glad we can stay as a cornerstone member of the Big XII." The Big XI (eleven)? I don't see that happening; it would look too much like the AL West (Rangers joke, Hi-oh!). Texas, with the silence, is seriously the "hot chick at the end of the bar."

FTW guy of the story - A&M: "I don't know about you guys ("you guys" meaning=Texas, OU, Tech, OSU), but I'm going to the SEC!" Uh, no. That makes no sense any way you slice it. Logistically, it would be a pain to travel to Auburn, Oxford and Tuscaloosa with a athletic department hemorrhaging money from all of their athletic venue expansion efforts. Competitively, right now, as strong as the SEC is-up and down-they would be lucky to squeak away with two wins within the West division! Academically, the only other power conference with less academic hurdles to jump than the Big XII...you guessed it, the SEC. Fine, ATM, you think you are a special little snowflake that is unique in every single way, go to the SEC. Enjoy the TV money because you are sure as hell not getting any bowl money (unless there is revenue sharing).

Poor bastard of the story - (tie) Baylor/Mizzou: I'm not sure which is worse...pouting while taking your ball home or tattle-telling to your dad that you were wronged. That would be the situation for the Tigers and Bears...oh, my (wow, that was low-hanging fruit). The first childish response came from Mizzou after the Big XII "ultimatum". Since they are on an island with no in-state buddies, their silence and stiff upper lip (added with new reports of whining) make the school in Columbia look like malcontents, completely unlike Texas. Not really sure how they got that wrap but that seems to be the perception within this whirlwind of activity. Baylor went the other route, telling their parents (Texas Legislature?) that if they aren't tethered with the rest of the Texas schools for any sort of conference movement, they are going to have a parent conference...with the conference in question. Wait...isn't Baylor a private institution? I don't know how state education money breaks down with non-land-grant schools, but isn't Baylor asking Austin for help tantamount to me asking for money from my brother's father-in-law? It doesn't make sense. Neither does the "combo-pack" including Mizzou and/or Baylor...there's not enough TV's in Waco or Columbia.

Non-story of the story - "What about the travel? What about the student athletes?": Yet another example of college football is a business...mind you, a quickly-expanding, dynamic business with a modular business model. But it is a business. Every year, schedules and travel plans are made in accommodation for intercollegiate competition. This has happened since the NCAA was formed. Why would it be any different with boatloads of money now included? Athletic Directors and departments will continue to do the business they have done since athletic departments were created. With the TV money and conference inclusion windfall, the revenue assists with flexibility. Now the Griswold's can go to WallyWorld every summer...and book flights instead of driving the superwagon into the ground. A little bit more capital never has hurt business.

Preachy BS of the story - "It's all about the money!": C'mon, really? If anyone goes with that high-and-mighty garbage, especially at the "Worldwide Leader", that is the most hypocritical complaint anyone can yield. ESPN wouldn't be in existence if it wasn't about the all-mighty dollar. All of the talking heads that we can't stand (in and out of this story) would not be in front of the camera if they did not get a raise or were thrown a bag of cash with a dollar sign on it. So enough with the "it's all about the cash" with some faux forlorn tone. It costs money to run any business. And the business of college football, with TV expansion and conference contraction, is no different.

Accidental story some have mentioned with this story - Playoffs?!?!?: One less conference to worry about...money shifting to super-conferences...probably less of a drumbeat from ACC and Big East. Hmmm, compelling. Besides, if you throw away the "travel" limitation for the super-conferences, the ad revenue has to go somewhere. Jean-Jacques Taylor stated on The Ticket 1310 with Norm Hitzges that with this consolidation, that might be the way to go. But, with the rabbit-like multiplication of the bowl games...again, that ad revenue has to go somewhere.

The story continues to develop. Tweetdeck continues to break down with all Texas sports followers pushing through the cluttered bandwidth. I would personally like to thank all the information holders sharing their data with peons writing blogs like me so I can vent the wonderful yet bittersweet opinions (e.g. sportswriters, sports radio, news agencies, wizards, etc.).

Lessons Learned, my three things.
1) Holy smokes, the NCAA does have teeth. Though it takes five years for them to grow.
2) Twitter should really look into getting some more support. Stupid fail whale.
3) I have never, and will never, care about Notre Dame. If ND still wants to be an independent and continue to collect checks from The Peacock, I don't care. Notre Dame is about as niche as open-wheel racing. I don't care about Danica Patrick.

I have to say, this is about as close to the hot-stove period of baseball that I will every experience. Usually, the common college football fan finishes in early January and starts counting down until the first weekend of September. Now I understand that feeling...where is the player going to go...forget that, where is the team going to go? Talk later.

Get busy training, or get busy dying

At the Jewish Mother in VA Beach...yes, it's called the Jewish Mother.

Let's get this link party started!

To be a total copycat of my former boss and current badass, I wanted to gain some more technical and operational training in the field I have fallen in love with. Then again, a lot of folks of the liked mindset are doing the same thing. So, let's go get certified!

The visit was to a lovely beach venue which was a disconnect for my self-discipline. Why pick beautiful locations where it is very difficult to focus? Can't SANS hold training in Detroit or Fargo or Cleveland? Can't get distracted there.

To break it down to all my non-techie readers (all two of you), SANS is the quintessential training organization specializing in Information Security and technical controls. It's a destination for most worker bees like me. I ended going the introduction-to-intermediate route taking SEC401 Security Essentials. It's the intermediate school for GIAC, which I though would be a good fit.

Some notes for my techie readers (all four of you): if you are thinking about acquiring your CISSP, this course covers seven of the ten disciplines within the exam. It's not a bad review. Granted, CISSP is more of a leadership certification as opposed to the technical nature of the GSEC (certification from SEC401). It's an argument that will be fought back and forth with ISC2 and SANS, but it's really trying to compare limes and lemons--both are good in your professional margarita, but what is your preferred flavor...

If you have already have your Security+ from CompTIA (vendor neutral): this is a great refresh. Granted, I am blessed with a company that allows me to run away for the training I think is needed personally. However, if you are pressed for cash and time and you already have your Sec+ gunning for your CISSP, you might want to uptick to Certified Incident Handler (GCIH) or Certified Intrusion Analysis (GCIA). I know the dollar bills are a big deal with a lot of companies and training regimens. So, bang-for-buck ratio is huge. My current InfoSec mentor mentioned that 401 might has been a bit remedial. However, for people that have little to no background on Linux/Unix and cryptography, this class hits the mark for level of challenge.

It's hardcore training. It's ten hours for six straight days. And it's classroom training, a la lecture and slides. That might not be the flavor of training that some people prefer, but I can dig it. Besides, it's no where near the braincrusher that is MCSE bootcamp. Eff me.

Of course the side story was: I'm at a beach. What could go wrong? Well, if you answered "absolutely nothing", you were correct. My feet, covered with Vibrams, touched East Coast sand only once. That's how focused I was. And that's how important this post-graduate study is. The tech field is so fluid and the use of legacy and revolutionary technologies (mainframe systems trying to support iPad updates...it's not as crazy as you think) it's imperative to stay mentally sharp.

Admittedly there are two arguments I have with SANS. As awesome and powerful of a name SANS has within the tech market, why price the items so high and why not aim for accreditation. I know it's cheaper than a semester in Austin...the really big school in Austin, but if it's upward to 4000-big every class, why not aim for education accreditation as a bona fide post-graduate program that is a total hybrid? Hell, it's the University of Phoenix can collect accreditation (along with quite a few other web-enabled institutions), why can't SANS do the same thing, especially if they are pushing the product.

So, who's up for DEF CON?

Lessons Learned, my three things.
1) No matter how warm you think a venue is, pack sleeves. Beaches are seasonal, but hotel rooms and conference quarters can be ff-ff-f-f-freezing.
2) Never...ever...run in swim trunks. I would show a link or a photo, but yeah, that's just not right.
3) Yeah, no one asks me anymore about joining Facebook anymore. Mmmm, I wonder why?

Next up for the mental gymnastics is the actual GSEC exam. I have 120 days to shut this door, but it will probably be wrapped up sooner than that. After that, it's going to be the physical challenge. Beach to Bay was only part of it...Harbor Half and White Rock, here I come. How do I plan do balance shift work and a marathon workout? Talk later.

The Prodigal Son Returns...then leaves again

This photo did not make the cut for People of Wal-Mart.

It was inevitable.

I had to go back. There was no two ways about it. I had to return to Corpus. I had to return for probably the best social and athletic event that scary town hosts. I say scary because I did NOT want to fall into the trap of calling it "home". It's not home. I logged many-a-year in the township with the Latin name. I was NOT coming home...I was visiting Corpus. I'm sorry, that's just the lexicon I am using and comfortable in using. So, there.

Beach to Bay is the biggest athletic event the city hosts aside from a random area or regional state playoff game. It's been going on for 35 years and the participation makes this a destination event (even though it's mostly locals that take part). So, I wasn't going to make my triumphant return to the Sparkling(?) City By the Sea some loungefest of drinking and gallivanting (though I did fit that in).

With six months away from Corpitos, I did have my usual eye-rolling moments when walking back into the scene of the crime, so I am not going to bore everyone (my three readers) into the individual episodes and vignettes of humanity's backhand. Instead, I am going to go the SportsCenter route and just hit the highlights. I will go two low, three high so we can keep this love-fest positive.

Hate number one - I have bantered about this before to anyone that has bemused me with attention, but it kills me every time. I know Corpus is home to the 130th media market (takes a one-point improvement from last I checked), but one would think a market sandwiched between Columbus, GA and Chico, CA would try a little harder.
The once-proud Corpus Christi Caller-Times has not only minimized their content, but they have printed a smaller paper. In comparison with the mighty Dallas Morning News, they have cut an inch from the horizontal margin and two inches from the vertical margin. So, their cost-saving move is not to advertise more but to limit the actual news print with the inches of paper. Hope that maneuver has saved some jobs, but it has definitely compromised content or the potential thereof.
Then, to turn on the radio is even more nightmarish. Yes, yes, bitching about the Clear Channel virtual hijacking of the airwaves of Texas is like complaining that TGI Friday's is too campy. I know, I know, it's a dime-a-dozen argument that doesn't attack a bigger problem. But good lord, this is some terrible radio. Their excuse for a rock station is the play list of a strip club in the 80's. The only saving grace is Monty Montana, and you know he has be be on suicide watch every other day leaving that musical wasteland. I mean, they have a segment called "Hair Cuts". It should be named, "other hair bands we don't play all the time because our boss got mad at us". And when did ESPN radio take over three FM frequencies? Do the good people of Corpus need three different wavelengths to hear the Astros absolutely suck this season?
Then there is the television media. I know everyone has to start somewhere, but the production value combined with terrified talent makes you long for public access...no, no not the Alex Jones polished public access...the bad one. The limited coverage of the biggest sports event the city has speaks for itself. There were over 14,000 runners showing up to run one race. You would think that an economic shot in the arm to a depressed South Texas town that begs for this kind of action would use a bit more than a 30 second segment to explain how awesome it is to have 14,ooo+ people in one place doing one thing. Oh, sorry, they all weren't running from the cops, so that's not interesting enough for the bleeds-leads axiom these small minded news organizations can handle.
Yeah, I know what to expect. But I am still surprised.
Then again, no media market is perfect...I mean no market.

Hate number two - If there is one thing this city can benefit from, it's inter-organization planning committee. What do I mean? Simply put, this city can't plan for shit. Corpus is large-ish in the relative sense (286,000 at 2008) but small enough to know when the biggest running event will be conflicting with anything else--for example, graduation ceremonies Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. They were graduating their biggest class ever, just shy of 900 students. Now, I'm no cotillion mother, but wouldn't scheduling two large garden parties on the same day (separated by mere hours) be a bit of a faux-pax? Why have the biggest two spring events on the same weekend? Why even try to handle the lodging and entertainment nightmare when you can get two economic boosts instead of one windfall saturated with drunken co-eds and drunken runners? You don't have to act like your bigger brothers to the north. You can prevent these sorts of collisions. A little bit of foresight never killed anyone.

Love number one - Beach to Bay is a fun race. Granted, this year had it's share of obstacles, but it is still a fun track with great concept and an excellent finish line. You will never see so many teams with the word "beer" on the listing because of the good times had by the finishers once they are done. It also helps that this race is done outside the Texas marathon schedule so rookies and veterans can return with the same dumb smile on their face. It also doesn't hurt that the run is on the Texas coast either.

Love number two - This is a relative argument because I have some more analysis to perform, but if someone wants to walk away from a bar with a reasonable tab without having to perform any favors, then Corpus is the drinking hole for you. Granted, the huge qualifier is that the selection in most drinking establishments is limited, but for what these bars (no pubs) have is some cheap drinin'. And that is not all a bad thing because you are nursing some sore muscles (if you are running hard enough).

Love number three - Let's face it, I wouldn't bother with the planning, training, anticipation or execution if it weren't for the people.

Lessons Learned, my three things.
1) Don Weber is the smartest MFer I know. Why, you ask? Well, he reminded me of a very, VERY important fact: beer and pizza are both carbs. So, if I carb up for my next race all I have to do is grab a six-pack from downstairs and order Domino's. Party on, Don C. Weber. I will go forth and do good things!
2) When you are at a sushi restaurant, always assume that a saketini is a large beverage and not a shot. Also, if you order saketinis for the table, go ahead and open up that wallet because you, my friend, are buying.
3) Whenever you have a very good run, you always want to follow it up with another run. The endorphins are ridiculous. So, yeah, we have a running schedule now.
BONUS: I didn't know Corpus was also on "The Cleveland Show". Wow. I miss one episode while out of town and this is what I miss (Ep 21, 17:10 mark).

I would like to thank all the friends and family that put up with my North Texas smugness enough to have a meal or a drink or a slap in the face. I appreciate it. The whole six months have been a whirlwind combined with a cold shower. I loved getting grounded once more to recharge the soul, psyche and overall demeanor of my current self. I cannot thank all the involved folks enough and do not have the bandwidth so show my love and affection for all of you. It definitely is not a trip...to Corpus...without you. Talk later.